i took the train. it costs $7.25 and a cab costs around $50 something, depending on how much you tip. the cab saves money and time and you don’t have to worry about your luggage. totally felt the need to save as much as possible though so i braved the subway and rolled approximately 80 pounds of stuff from the subway station to buri’s dorm. it was effing cold.

thankfully, i didn’t have to bring my luggage up any stairs because there was an elevator! the lady held open the door for me and we were just talking about the snow. coincidentally, when i mentioned seattle snowing a shit ton, she said she lived in tacoma once in her life.

and now, here i am, all emotional. listening to sam hart on youtube. hahaha but yeah.. it’s tough coming back over here, seemingly alone. but i’ll get back into the groove. gonna get some apartment stuff done and i start school tomorrow. dang.

i’m trying to get motivated to apply for internships and jobs for summer and whatnot. it’s tough. suki told me to set a deadline for mid-february so i can be ahead of the game, which is a smart thing to do. i’m using careernet. it’s a unique way to easily get employers to see your resume. all you have to do is fill out your info as you would a resume and answer some questions. it’s a simple concept, but it takes forever to basically retype your whole resume. and the answers to the question should be well-done too. all through dinner, i could tell my cousin who (“wants the best for me”) was suppressing the urge to give me some fantastical advice.

so glad she did.

clinique day 4(?)

i can feel the improvement. however, it’s kind of drying out my skin – moisturizer is very helpful. the areas around my eyes, though, are super dry. i need to avoid that area more.

watched whisper of the heart again. what a lovely movie. didn’t appreciate it when i was a kid, haha. amasawa seiji, though! he knows what’s up. the porch on the grandpa’s house was so lovely. wish i could have a place like that…

and my favorite scenes from any anime are the ones where the whole classroom is in an uproar cuz a girl has a visitor from another class. it’s just too funny.

*this image brought to you courtesy of the internet! :O

wow, this post is choppy. but apartment stuff is looking pretty good. burrito put in the deposit and there are still some things we need to work out. rough patches.

it’s whatever..

gotta do laundry, clean, and pack tomorrow. i might get some visitors as well!

until next time. i might be in new york.

i didn’t really have a set resolution for the new year, so i guess i’ll make one right now: to get rid of my zits once and for all! skin’s a tricky thing because everything affects the skin, internal and external. gotta drink water, gotta eat healthy, probably exercise, wash your face, not get stressed out, endless possibilities. i’ve always had zits on my forehead, the other areas of my face aren’t too problematic.

so yeah! went to the clinique counter at macy’s and bought me their 3-step for acne. i expected to pay $70, but it was actually $51, $56 including tax. this was probably the second time i ever sat at the cosmetics section of a department store. lalala stigmas against makeup. they got me to put on foundation. i usually am really hesitant to do foundation because i’ve seen some people that have foundation on and it’s totally noticeable that there’s foundation on their face! to me, it’s not too pleasant. but when i was talking about my problem with foundation with my mom, she said that it’s acceptable to walk around like that these days. but it was a good experience for me because my zits aren’t too bumpy. it was only visible super up close. even then, i wouldn’t have put it around my nose and mouth, so maybe it would work better. other than that, the foundation was used pretty sparingly and it did make a significant difference.

this is my first night using it and it feels good. skin feels soft and fresh just like the clinical/sterile-looking blue that clinique uses. haha

on another note, burrito’s really stressing me out. finding a place, saying she likes it, brings my hopes up, calls me later and tells me that she actually hates it, the cycle starts again.

i hate updating my mom on all this. i’d just like to focus on finding a summer job/internship.

ON ANOTHER NOTE, we brought along suki’s brother on our adventure. it was fun until he attempted to hock a loogie out of my car, but failed. epically. let’s just say i had to take a clorox wipe to the inside and outside of my rear-right window.

speaking of suki, i told her that my secret wish is to have the dude in my life say to me, “that’s my girl” when i do something awesome, just like howl did in howl’s moving castle. OR when he’s talking about me to someone else say, “oh, alyson? she’s the best.” seriously, those exact words.

she also told me that she read my blog and was interested in the topic of marriage; specifically about strategies. hahaha. by strategies i/she means insurance. by insurance i/she means female precautions. and by female precautions i/she mean the wife secretly siphoning off a small portion of her income and putting it into a secret account. in the event of divorce, she can have some monetary stability and peace of mind while still taking half of her husband’s money. what a minx. hahaha!!

we also talked about the significance of officially marrying someone. there’ve been people who have a boy/girlfriend for years and never marry. they are together and never cheat on each other. some people think that there’s no stability in a relationship like that, that there’s no obligation and either one could just sleep with someone else without consequences. on the other hand, isn’t marriage just a certificate? i mean, you have to pay to get married and what if some people can’t afford it? i dunno. some people are able to have good relationships for years without having to marry and how about divorces that happen because of cheating? a marriage certificate doesn’t necessarily get in the way of anything. *shrug*

how can someone openly wish disaster and terrorist attacks on a whole population? totally incomprehensible to me. and keep those comments closed, it makes me feel better.

i like standing next to you, sean. it makes me look so tough.

he told me that he thought i wouldn’t approve. and in response, i said that there isn’t a right/wrong thing to do because everything just has it’s own consequences. he is genuinely a good person, a person i would be proud of handing my daughter away to. he’s respectful, a true gentleman, and an invaluable friend to me. after all this praise, i told him, “dude, i just wouldn’t go to your wedding, that’s all i’m saying.”

and he says something along the lines of this: “yeah, i know. i mean, you could’ve at least opened the invitation. it’s like, you burn it and take a picture of it burning and send it to me along with a ‘stay warm’”

he says that the reason for this relationship would be a distraction. for a good number of people, that’d be an impure reason to start a relationship. and i agree. however, life is lived however the hell you want it to and for all i know, it might be fun. the chemistry between the two of them is undeniable. however, he is someone who is complementary to most people. he’ll bring out the best in you, he’s a riot. like i said before, there’s no right or wrong way. there are the pros and cons and you just have to weigh them yourself and live with the consequences.

on another note, i’ve gotten canceled on countless times this winter. it’s disappointing, really. not one, but two people have made plans with me multiple times and have canceled on me the same amount. i mean, i had a lot of time here and it’s time to go soon. it’s whatever, i guess: with friendship comes let down.

don’t let one moment color your entire experience. 

expectations will only let you down, especially if you’re a jackass asian parent because not all kids wanna go into the medical/science field, god damn it! there’s that little thing about pushing your kid to pursue the doctor/engineer career and they don’t know what they want. the line between what a parent wants and what a child wants is completely blurred now. i have a couple friends that i’m worried about because they might end up doing something they completely hate because they thought they wanted it, but it’s what their parents wanted. i think it’s a waste of life, but hey, maybe they’ll save a couple thousands lives in their lifetime. so what can i say? you definitely saved my share of people and we don’t have enough good doctors in the world, anyway. i’ve been blessed with parents who support what i do and i’d like to think that i’m an example of the theory: that if you love what you do, success with find you. and lookie here, i attend one of the best design schools in the world, if i dare say something so brash.

on the subject of marriage and how fast it’s approaching: holy crap, it’s coming soon. there are so many things i worry about. living in close quarters with someone makes you really (and i mean really) get to know someone for better or for worse. sleeping in the same bed, but with the same covers?! outrageous!! all i know is that i wanna buy a dress and i wanna have a party. a wedding without the marriage, you know? haha. i dunno.

seriously, even finding someone is difficult. finding someone who is completely worth your time and thinks that you are worth theirs. someone who actually wants to spend forever with you and go through the tedious, monotonous period of time called life (and maybe leave a little souvenir behind in the form of a kid). life is boring and full of shit, so you gotta find the perfect companion to help you out of it sometimes. decisions, decisions, right?

haha, that’ll go into my future wedding toast for haowie wowie cuz she’s gonna make me do one, i just know it.

“you’re picky… and that’s a good thing!” hm. it is a good thing, but i dunno if i subscribe to it. like, every girl wants a guy who is funny, pleasant to look at, intelligent, and ambitious. standards, though. do i have them? i’ll say, “not particularly” and you’ll roll your eyes. the thing is that if i see someone, and he or she has a gorgeous smile, he or she has a gorgeous smile. and then another person walks by with a really nice smile too. you can’t deny either of them their smiles because both of them are attractive in their own right. same with personality. there’s that quote that goes something along the lines of comparing the skill of a goldfish to that of a chimpanzee in terms of tree-climbing. you just can’t. i meet someone and i find qualities that i like in them, simple as that.

going back to new york soon. went through some annoying and stress-inducing exchanges with amanda and landlords, but i think it’s gonna be okay? maybe? got some friends that can back me up in case i’m in need of a couch to surf, which is great. i’m relieved.

it’s been a long break and i’m sad to leave home (where i hang out and do nothing but bake cookies), but i think it’ll be good for me to continue this school year and do well. i hope to celebrate a lot with good friends and food.

also i need to get on that summer job/internship stuff pronto!

on another note, skin care is on the influx. meiby got me these taiwanese mask things and suki pookie has been secretly brainwashing me with clinique nonsense. it MUST mean something, right? finally, i have succumbed. yes, i have agreed to go to the mall to get MY ZITS EXAMINED at the counter. i mean, if i were to buy it online, i’d get it shipped free with a free sample thingy too. harhar. but alas, i do wanna spend time with suki pookie and i have to make it up to her for that one time i wouldn’t go bra fitting with her. hahaha. she’s ridic. but yeah. i’m skeptical on whether or not i wanna spend $70 on skincare. THOUGH i do agree that using the same line of products is most effective (not only for skin, but for anything, really). so i think i should do it. afterall, mommy loves suki and is always pleased with the small transformations that do happen at suki’s house.

raise the glass to yourself, that’ll be the best company you’ve ever had.

it’s ridiculous to even think about not having to pay any fees, let alone find an affordable, nice apartment in the first place. in new york city.

no communication. this is sad to say, but i’m annoyed that she deactivated her facebook. yeah, shows how dependent i am on the social network.

i can easily find a place myself, but i still have to take my flaky friend into account. what a great friend i am. -_-

mom’s stressed out about this. i wish she weren’t.

tomorrow’s another day.

but we played bingo and angelina won twice, and of course, wanted to keep playing. but of course the debbie downer cousin said that by doing so, it was encouraging gambling in young children. hey, it was your bingo game.

other cousin, his wife, and their baby daughter have been here for a little while (they’re leaving tomorrow night back to irvine). but debbie downer’s always trying to act like a helpful aunt, which puzzles and irks me simultaneously. all the younger generation (including myself) end up completely disdainful of her. she’s family, but do we gotta see her all the time?

got some money, wall decoration thingies, more money. yeah. gonna meet some bitches and hoes from the old days, gonna make some food, gonna go up to vancouver because it’s mamma k’s secret desire to be a hoe. hahaha

smell ya later.

today was cray, more so than usual. i spent the majority of friday packing my stuff up because i’m planning to move to a new place when i get back (where that is, i have no idea because finding a place in new york is very last minute in general because the housing market is always changing.) but i spent the whole day packing my life into boxes. packing and throwing away and cleaning the room that i’ve inhabited for the semester. it’s a lovely, tiny room.

so packed it up. the three of us were trying desperately to figure out how we’d carry 6 heavy boxes onto the subway. we called for jello and reginald (heh heh reggie) to help us and they agreed because they lub me. then out of nowhere, my burrito called just to say hi and offered to help when she heard about my dilemma. so there were enough people to each carry a box/luggage/thingy and it was perfect. it would have been impossible with three of us. smh. so the whole crew of us basically took over a subway car and trekked to the west village from my place near columbia. what a journey. when we finally dropped it all off, i was so relieved. it was nice to see friends i’ve collected over the years come together. friends from seattle that go to school in washington, friends from seattle that go to school in new york, and new york friends who go to school in new york. all of them have been my friends from different periods in my life.

then, went to queens to hang with my studio buddies. we played guitar hero and i was designated singer, of course… it was fun. i’m glad my old friends got to meet these new friends too. warms my heart. :3

then, went to brooklyn for a quick minute cuz our close friends were having a going away kegger because they’re moving to a different place too. it was closing up by the time we got there, so we didn’t really go hard at all. just sat on the lawn chairs and looked up at the sky. there were some minor issues with some other friends, but other than that, it was cool. took forever to get home.

had some nostalgic moments when walking up a certain route while transferring trains. there was a slight incline and it just reminded me of sharp pencils guy when i was complaining about new york being flat and shitty and everything bad. and as we were walking up this incline, he said, “this is a hill though.” ah, i didn’t know what to think when i thought about this. well, i’m gonna be outta the upper west side, so i ain’t even mad though? hahaha, anyway. -_-

my flight’s at 1 PM. i’m excited to go home. i know it’ll be a little boring, but i have friends to wear silly wolf hats with and play rock band/guitar hero with, so it’s all good. i can’t wait to see the fam and distribute my hipster books. i made 26 copies of it!! hahahahahahahahahaha. it’s funny. um.

the last week of finals was cray. i did pretty well, i think. ah, school. i’ll write about it when i want to. laters.

katherine and tiffany are coming soon, so i’m really excited for that!! can’t wait for the semester to be over. jeez i hate studio class. -_-

it sort of kills me inside. lol